Community is the Answer.
You may have heard news outlets talk about the loneliness epidemic. As the decades pass, more and more people of all ages report feeling lonely. There are many theories for this. Some attribute the rise in loneliness to the rise in technology use and social media. Increasing cost of living causing stress and increased work load might be contributing. Social anxiety prevents people from connecting. The ever increasing demands of modern life, existential dread, traumatic experiences, accessibility, and health issues all impact your ability to connect with others in community. Loneliness not only feels bad emotionally, it’s can take a toll on your body. Loneliness has been associated with an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, type 2 diabetes, mental health illnesses, and an early death. Pretty alarming if you ask me. We are hard wired for connection; it’s in your neurobiology. As infants, we need attachment to others to survive, so your nervous system develops in this environment of dependence on community nurturance. Because of this, being on your own is a legitimate threat to survival and your nervous system will respond accordingly with a cascade of stress responses if you feel lonely. Feeling lonely and disconnected can sometimes be so painful it feels as if you are dying.
What if I told you the antidote for many of your struggles just might be community? What if life feels so hard because you’re not supposed to do all this alone? What if some of your health struggles could be alleviated by having community support? What if the reason your goals feel so hard to reach is because you’re trying to reach them alone? At this point you might be asking, “ok, I get it, I need community, but how do I build it?” You can start with the people you already know. Be proactive in creating connective spaces, invite people to gather, host a cookout. Share honestly and vulnerably about your experience so that others may know you more deeply. Ask for help when you need it. Show up for others when they also need support. Community can also be found in so many other spaces. Movement or workout spaces, hobby groups, education and classes, art spaces, local library events, community organizations, mutual aid work, community gatherings, and volunteering are all great places to get involved with new communities around you. I know this sounds simple, and truthfully it is, it just isn’t always that easy. So be kind to yourself as you bravely and boldly venture into the world of connecting in community. If a space isn’t a good fit for you, know that the right fit is out there if you keep exploring. Know that not only is it healing for you, it is for them too.
Questions to ponder.
What does community mean to me?
What communities I am a part of? How satisfied am I with my connection to community?
What steps can I take to strengthen my current communities and engage with new ones?
