Do you really need to be the best version of yourself?
The phrase “best version of ourselves” gets thrown around a lot and is it really what we need to be striving for? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the sentiment. Wanting to work towards your goals or better yourself is not an inherently bad thing. However, the “best version” implies an ideal and the ideal is often unachievable. Like I said, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to work on yourself and like any goal, it needs to first be actually attainable. What happens when we set our sights too high? It is a breeding ground for self-doubt and criticism increasing shame while reducing confidence in one’s self. Which is the opposite of growth, right? Setting unrealistic goals that you continue to not meet over and over again, does quite a number of your self-esteem. The lower your self-esteem gets by not meeting these goals, the harder it is to meet any goal.
The idea of “best version” also implies that there is a finish line as a person. You’ve made it to the top and that’s it! Which is just not true. There is no end point, we are constantly learning and evolving with our experiences. Saying you want to be the best version robs you of the excitement of an ever changing life and existence. There’s also the idea that if you’re not the best version, you’re the worst. This kind of all-or-nothing thinking does keep people stuck and can even stop people from trying because the “best version” is so far away. All in all, please do have goals. Have goals that you are working towards that are truly in alignment with your values and vision for life. Offer yourself some self-compassion as you work towards them (and other people too while we’re at it). Just do me a favor and make sure they are unique and authentic to you and you alone. That you are not striving to be someone you are not or beating yourself up for not being a certain way. Screw the best version and just be the truest version.
Questions to ponder.
What does the good enough version of you look like?
What are three qualities you want to practice more?
How can I embody the truest version of myself with compassion?
