What is love?
It’s a question poets, philosophers, and artists have been trying to answer for ages. Love comes up a lot in the therapy and mental health worlds, whether it relates to relationships with others, the self, or the world. Love is definied as, ”an intense feeling of deep affection or great interest/pleasure in something.” I do not think this definition does the word justice. Love can be an all consuming feeling that is indescribable. Love feels differently for everyone and how it is expressed can vary even more. Some describe physical sensations of love, internal experiences, numerous feelings, thoughts, and behaviors as well. Love is complex and is often considered an umbrella for a plethora of other feelings. Not only is love an intense indescribable feeling, how we show said love can look so many ways. Most people have heard of the five love languages (touch, quality time, gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service), however there are endless ways of expressing love. When showing people we love them, it is important to do it often and in their preferred love languages.
What I really want to focus on today, is the love of self. Loving ourselves first may sound cliche, however that is exactly how you build the most secure loving relationships with others. The common troupe is that people love and take care of each other in relationships, which is not inherently bad. If you want your relationships to level up, you commit to loving yourself fully first so you can be fully openhearted and available to your loved ones. Think about it, can you really be as loving as you want to be if you secretly have self-hatred inside you? If you’re not fully taken care of, do you have 100% to give others? Are you truly living in integrity if your love for others does not match the love you feel inside? Loving yourself gives you access to infinite love for others, in fact, it’s a requirement. Love is never to be used as a weapon, removing it as punishment. This goes for self-love especially. True love and connection are pure, tender, and kind. Imagine having a smoker tell you not to smoke because it’s bad for you, that’s like trying to love other people when you’re not loving yourself. Remember, more love is always better and it is not something that happens in isolation. So love yourself, love your people, and love the world.
Questions to ponder.
How do I define love?
Am I being loving to myself? If so, in what ways? If not, how can I emobdy and express more love to myself?
What does the version of me look like that radiates love both inside and out? What are they doing differently than me now?
