Are you living a values driven life?
A question we can all relate to. A big part of my counseling practice is helping clients do just that, live a values driven life. What does this mean exactly? By definition, a value is, “a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.” Seems pretty vital, right? Living in alignment with our values helps us feel authentic, make decisions, and live with integrity, all things I think most of us want. Knowing your personal values is a big part of understanding the core of who you are. Many struggles can be traced back to not living in alignment with our values. It can influence your relationships, career, health, and day-to-day living. When we do not live a value driven life, we may feel disappointed in ourselves, ashamed, angry, stuck, lonely, disconnected, and have physical health problems. In truth, not living in accordance to our values is a form of self-abandonment.
Values can be guiding principles for every choice we make. Although this is not always easy, it does simplify life. When you feel stuck, ask yourself, what decision would be me living in my values? It is important to tease apart your personal values from those imposed on you by family, friends, society, work, etc. I also want to note, you are allowed to change your values as well. Life experience can change how we think, feel, and relate in the world which can sometimes change our values. Even where someone is developmentally can change their values, such as young adults and older adults sometimes having very different values. Often, we tend to have some core values we carry with us throughout our lives as well. For example, I won student of the month in eighth grade for integrity and integrity still stands as a top value for me. Sometimes, as we explore our values, we realize we’ve held the same values all our lives, we just strayed away and tested new ways of being along the way.
So how do you know what your values are? One of my favorite values exploration activity is simple. Look at a list of values and pick the ten that feel most important to you. You can use those to begin to reflect on your life and help you move towards a more values driven life.
Questions to ponder:
What values of mine am I living in alignment with and what values have I been ignoring?
What changes can I make to live more in alignment with my current values?
How can I let go of patterns of self-abandonment through a values driven life?
