Discipline is your new best friend.
Discipline has a funny reputation. It is often associated with rigidity, extremes, lack of enjoyment, and punishment. However, self-discipline is simply is self-control. It is taking steps towards your goals, the person you are wanting to become, and living in alignment with your values. Discipline is what is required of us to do hard things, it is every action you take to get closer to your dreams, big and small. Discipline is required for consistency and consistency is required for actions to become habits. Habits, help us have more ease around our actions and ultimately, our lives. Successful and accomplished athletes, artists, or humans will often credit discipline as the grounded root of their success. Discipline is also at the root of success in therapy. In this sense, I think of discipline as actively applying the skills you learn and making the changes you want, especially when it’s hard. You don’t need much discipline during the easy times. Self-discipline is loving yourself enough to say, “I’m going to do this really hard thing because it is in alignment with the core of who I really am and who I’m becoming.” Discipline is a mindful self-awareness practice. Its asking yourself moment to moment, what is is truly in alignment for you?
Discipline is not cold, rigid, and inflexible. I would argue if it feels that way, its not true self-discipline. That reads more like fear based control instead of loving self-growth. For some, maybe self-discipline looks like moving their bodies regularly, for others, resting more. It can be cleaning up after yourself when you just want to lay around. Sometimes discipline is putting your phone down, feeling your feelings, or not drinking when you have negative thoughts and feelings. It can be not purchasing an item that you can easily access because it isn’t from an ethical company. Discipline can be saying no to foods that leave you feeling unwell and yes to foods that leave you feeling energized and healthy. Discipline is not going down the self-hatred rabbit hole in your mind and instead practicing compassion. Discipline is saying no to that date if you’re using that person to escape your life. It is also not squeezing your animals too tight out of cuteness aggression because you know it would hurt or disturb them, or maybe that’s just an area of discipline I have to practice. Discipline is all about feeling aligned with your values and who you want to be in this world. Its about saying yes to yourself and no to what doesn’t serve you. It’s about agency, knowing you have a say in how you feel and the direction of your life. Discipline is self-love.
Questions to ponder.
What is my relationship to self-discipline? What thoughts and feelings come up when I think about the concept of discipline?
What areas of my life need more love and discipline from me?
How can I be more disciplined in my thoughts, not just my actions?
